Learning To Live Again
by Barbara Kennedy
Summary: Severus Snape is cursed by Voldemort just before his downfall. It causes Snape to become pregnant the next time he is touched, no sex involved. This will not be a slash story, so don't expect it. Lots of angst and a little fluff. OotP references.
1. The Curse

Learning to Live Again By: Barbara Kennedy  
  
Author's Note: This story contains male pregnancy, but it is definitely not a Slash story nor is it likely to become one, so don't ask. In this story Snape is comfortably hetero. Any rating is due to subject matter and possible grossness later. ~~~~~~~ This story sprung from a Plot Bunny that I adopted from Hufflepuff's Badger when she was forced to abandon it due to dreaded Real Life Problems. She had written the first four chapters and posted them here on FanFiction.net but has since removed her version of the story so I can post this one. I was beta reading for her at the time. I really liked the poor little Plot Bunny and couldn't bear to see it waste away to nothing, so I asked her if I could have it to nurture and she kindly agreed. So I've taken it and re- written it. Here is my version. I hope I haven't changed it too much to be recognized. To the fans of her previous version, I hope I live up to your praise of her story. I can't promise how often I will be posting after the first four already- written chapters, but I will try to post as often as I can. This is going to be a long story for it to be told properly, so bear with me. I have a lot of plans for this one. Be warned that Snape is not going to have an easy pregnancy. After all, it is the result of a curse! Constructive criticism is welcome as well as praise. Flames will be used to brew tea.  
  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling and rightly so. Therefore, no infringement intended. All praise ultimately goes to her for inventing this charming series we all play with because we love it so. _______________________________ Ch. 1 - The Curse  
  
How could this have happened?  
  
Severus Snape kept asking himself that question, but still the answer evaded him. His mind was a maelstrom of thoughts and emotions, so agitated that he could not seem to grasp even one concept for more than a fleeting moment.  
  
He paced in his quarters in an effort to relieve the nervous energy that was steadily building. He could not figure out what to do and was beginning to feel trapped. He glanced again at the well-worn book he had grasped in his right hand. In a sudden fit of rage and with a roar of fury, he flung the book halfway across the room, causing several age-yellowed pages to scatter on the floor. He then collapsed dizzily into one of his high-backed chairs scrubbing his weary face with his fine-boned hands as he released a tremulous breath.  
  
The final war between Voldemort had just ended abruptly not three hours earlier.  
  
Severus could still hear the boisterous noises of celebration in parts of Hogwarts for the Dark Lord's downfall, but it was as if they were mocking him. He could not join in the celebration. Voldemort had gotten in the last laugh, at least with him.  
  
Although the Order of the Phoenix had been warned that Voldemort was preparing for major battle with the rest of the Wizarding world, they had not been expecting the attack to be coming quite so soon.  
  
However, earlier that very morning not long before the sun had begun to brighten the night sky, Voldemort's minions had attacked Hogwarts.  
  
Almost from the beginning of the battle, Snape had somehow found himself in the precarious position of defending Harry Potter, making sure he was not captured or harmed. He had followed Potter from the castle into the very middle of the battle to defend the castle and its wards.  
  
Death Eaters seemed intent on targeting the boy. He had saved the seventh- year student countless times from capture, or worse. In spite of this, Severus doubted the boy was even aware of his presence. The young Gryffindor had been too focused on trying to save everyone else.  
  
The battle had raged on for hours. Large numbers of people on both sides had fallen, injured or dead. Severus was beginning to feel that the battle would never end. Finally, in the early afternoon, Voldemort made his appearance on the field of battle with a new wave of followers, including a group of dementors.  
  
To Severus' great surprise, Voldemort did not go directly for Harry Potter. Instead, he seemed to be focused on Severus, himself.  
  
Through fatigue and the effects of the dementors, Harry and Snape were soon surrounded and subdued in spite of Harry's powerful Patronus Charm.  
  
Voldemort's intent became obvious when he ordered three of his most trusted Death Eaters to secure Harry for him. They were ordered not to kill him, he alone claimed that honor, but they were to keep the boy occupied nearby while he dealt with other unpleasant business, namely, Snape himself.  
  
Severus could still clearly remember every word that was spoken.  
  
"Severus, my dear Severus," crooned Voldemort mockingly, "whatever happened to you? I had placed such high hopes in you. You could have been great. You had a place of honor secure beside me. Instead, you have turned down that power and chosen to follow that pathetic muggle-lover, Dumbledore, in his misguided crusade."  
  
Severus did not respond to his former master's taunts. His mind was completely focused on what was happening around him, awaiting his chance to attack. He knew he would not survive this last encounter with the madman before him. There was absolutely no question of that. Nor was he foolish enough to believe that he could hope to defeat the Dark Lord by himself, but he hoped to at least be able to do enough damage to him, before he was killed, that someone else would be able to finish Voldemort off.  
  
When Voldemort realized that Snape was not going to respond, he smiled wickedly, his blood-red eyes glittering dangerously.  
  
His voice lowered to a menacing hiss once more. The words were meant for Severus' ears alone. "Ever since I realized your betrayal, I have been planning what to do with you. A quick death is far too easy for you, even if you are subjected to the Cruciatus Curse for hours before I kill you. No my dear boy, that would be much too lenient. I have something much more delicious in mind. I will make sure you suffer for months before an extremely slow, painful and shameful death."  
  
Severus shivered at the look in the reptilian eyes, but he refused to show the older wizard fear. He kept his wand raised, pointing it at the Dark Lord, and waited for his opportunity to strike. The chance happened almost immediately. Voldemort took his eyes off Severus for a split second, merely a quick glance somewhere off to the side behind Severus to make sure his followers were dealing with Harry Potter, who had apparently broken loose from them somehow. Severus took the opportunity to cast his spell. "Deletum!"  
  
A deep blue beam burst forth from his wand and slammed hard into the chest of the Dark Wizard, knocking him backward. Voldemort, seeing his movement as Snape was about to attack, called out a curse of his own, "Ingravesco!" A thick pink cloud rapidly swirled its way to the Head of Slytherin, encircled him, then seeped into his skin.  
  
Snape gasped as the unfamiliar spell begin to work. His senses were reeling with vertigo and his veins felt as if liquid ice had begun to fill them, not unlike the feeling of walking through a ghost. Just as quickly as it began, it stopped, and Severus could feel a pool of warmth begin to gather in the pit of his stomach and then burst outward throughout the rest of his body.  
  
All the time, Severus had been dimly aware of Voldemort being slammed by his attack, followed quickly by a yell from Potter and another bright light.  
  
When he became fully aware once more, he discovered that he had fallen to his knees.  
  
As he raised his eyes he could see that Voldemort was dead not a few feet away from him. He twisted around slowly and quickly searched the immediate area, trying to ascertain what had happened, only to find himself staring into the shocked green eyes of Harry Potter. He stood immobile a short distance behind and to Severus' left side, wand still raised, pointing to where Voldemort had stood moments before.  
  
Severus pulled himself to his feet a little unsteadily and tried to regain his balance. He was overcome by a wave of dizziness that almost sent him back to his knees. He stood still until the worst of the dizziness passed. He was about to go to Potter to see if he was alright, when he heard a cheer erupt around them. He began to realize that a crowed had already gathered around Potter and fighting had ceased. Voldemort's supporters were retreating. The battle was over. Soon a crowd of people was rushing to congratulate Harry.  
  
Severus decided it was time to leave. He was still feeling dizzy, weak and slightly nauseated. Besides, he desperately wanted to know exactly what kind of cruel curse that Voldemort had thrown at him. Whatever it was, it was bound to be something particularly nasty. He desperately wanted to see if there was anything he could do now to prevent the worst from happening.  
  
Now here he was, sitting in his room with no idea what to do now. When he had arrived at his room, he had immediately searched out his books of dark curses. He was surprised that he found the curse in the first book he looked in, but surprise quickly turned to horror when he found what the curse was. The book stated; "The Ingravesco Curse will cause the victim to become pregnant, regardless of their gender, male or female. When the curse has been cast upon a victim, the next person the victim touches will be the 'father' of the child. Conception does not occur until the victim touches someone or is touched by them. There is no known reversal for this curse.  
  
Severus must have read the passage a hundred times, but still, he had a difficult time taking in the full meaning of what he had read.  
  
No, he was not pregnant at this precise moment, but the next time he touched someone, he would be.  
  
The first crazed thought that popped into his head was that he would just never touch anyone ever again, but the realistic and logical part of him knew him that was impossible, even with the knowledge that most of the people he knew tended to avoid touching him.  
  
His frantic thoughts were interrupted by a knock at his door. Panic welled up in him and he quickly called out, "Go away!" He was disgusted to hear a slight tinge of desperation in his voice.  
  
"Severus?" He could hear the Headmaster's concerned voice through the thick door. "Are you all right?"  
  
"I'm fine, Albus." replied Snape, trying to sound reassuring.  
  
He knew he had failed when the Headmaster said, "Severus, I'm coming in."  
  
"No!" yelled Snape, but it was too late, Dumbledore had pushed open his door and walked into the room, his blue eyes behind his crescent shaped glasses shining with worry.  
  
Dumbledore stood there gazing worriedly at Severus for a moment before asking, "Severus, what is wrong? Why aren't you celebrating with everyone else? Come along and join the fun, you deserve it. We are all in your debt for everything you've done, especially today. Harry said if it were not for your help, he would not have been able to defeat Voldemort."  
  
Snape began pacing once again. Conflicting desires gripping him. He knew he needed to tell the Headmaster, but he really did not want anyone else to know what happened. However, if anyone could help him, he knew Albus could, so he took a deep steadying breath, stopped pacing near the older man and tried to explain.  
  
"Albus, just before Voldemort was defeated," began Snape, "he was able to curse me one last time."  
  
Dumbledore's eyes became grave, losing their normal sparkle, and he stepped closer to reach towards Severus to give him some comfort.  
  
Severus saw Dumbledore's hand reaching for him and screamed, "NO, DON'T TOUCH ME!" scuttling away until he was well out of the other man's reach. His heart was suddenly racing and the blood was pounding in his ears. He wondered at this, he had never panicked like this before, why now?  
  
Dumbledore quickly pulled back his hand, startled. He knew Severus did not like anyone invading his personal space, but he had never reacted so violently before.  
  
Dumbledore was about to try and soothe the younger man again, only with words this time, when he noticed Severus raise his hand to his head and sway as though he was dizzy with his eyes rolling back. Albus was just quick enough to catch his Potion Master and cushion him with his body before they both hit the stone floor. Severus was completely unconscious.  
  
Dumbledore suddenly saw a pink mist enveloping them both before he felt a disturbing heat in his groin and then a small jolting surge, much like a spark, passed between himself and Severus. He had never felt anything quite like it. He was overwhelmed by a sense of foreboding. He figured that it had something to do with the curse Voldemort had used on Severus. However, the feeling was quickly gone and he needed to take Severus to the hospital wing.  
  
To Be Continued.. 


	2. Albus Finds Out

Learning to Live Again  
By: Barbara Kennedy  
  
Author's Note: This story contains male pregnancy, but it is  
definitely not a Slash story nor is it likely to become one, so don't  
ask. In this story Snape is comfortably hetero. Any rating [which may  
change, if warranted] is due to subject matter and possible grossness  
later.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
This story sprang from a Plot Bunny that I adopted from Hufflepuff's  
Badger when she was forced to abandon it due to dreaded Real Life  
Problems. She had written the first four chapters and posted them here  
on FanFiction.Net but has since removed her version of the story so I  
can post this one. I was beta reading for her at the time. I really  
liked the poor little Plot Bunny and couldn't bear to see it waste  
away to nothing, so I asked her if I could have it to nurture and she  
kindly agreed. So, I've taken it and re-written it. Here is my  
version. I hope I haven't changed it too much to be recognized.  
To the fans of her previous version, I hope I live up to your praise  
of her story.  
I can't promise how often I will be posting after the first four  
already-written [now being rewritten] chapters, but I will try to post  
as often as I can. This is going to be a long story for it to be told  
properly, so bear with me. It will require some research on my part  
too. I have a lot of plans for this one.  
  
Be warned that Snape is not going to have an easy pregnancy. After  
all, it is the result of a curse! Hopefully, he will learn how to live  
through it, but he will have to accept a lot of help. Will he be able  
to?  
  
Constructive criticism is welcome as well as praise.  
Flames will be used to brew tea and later to boil water, I hope.  
Story suggestions may be considered, as long as it is remembered this  
will not be a slash story.  
  
You will notice I jump from using first names to using last names or  
titles of characters often and for no apparent reason. It just depends  
on how familiar the speaker would deem appropriate at the time [or  
just at my whim, so there!]  
I'm not introducing anyone you don't already know [yet], so there  
should not be any confusion of who I'm talking about anyway.  
Lots of angst in this chapter. It is rather long, but I had a lot to  
establish here. So here we go..  
  
________________________________________  
  
Chapter Two: Albus Finds Out  
  
______________________________________  
  
Something was wrong.  
  
Severus began to drift awake through a pink-tinged haze from his  
unnatural sleep with a sense of dread in the pit of his churning  
stomach. Very carefully, he barely opened one eye. Years of waking up  
in dangerous situations keeping him still, seemingly still asleep.  
  
He saw that he was in his own four-poster bed down in his dungeon room  
in Hogwarts. The room was dark, only lit by a fire burning brightly in  
the fireplace. His muddled mind tried to remember why he was there.  
He had no memory of changing into the sleep shirt he now wore or of  
going to bed. His listened for nearly a minute, but heard nothing.  
  
When he was confident that there was no immediate danger, Severus  
allowed himself the time to figure out what he was doing in his bed  
with no recollection of how he got there.  
  
Slowly, he began to recall the scenes of the final battle with  
Voldemort, the curse, his flight from the battlefield to the safety of  
his rooms, and finally, the scene with the Headmaster. He then  
remembered, to his horror, becoming extremely dizzy to the point of  
blacking out. Albus had reached for him as he began to collapse.  
Everything went blank until now.  
  
Suddenly, his breath caught in the back of his tightened throat as he  
realized what the Headmaster's touch meant.  
  
"Severus?" a voice softly said, "are you awake?" in response to the  
choked gasp from the bed.  
  
Startled by the unexpected voice in his room, Severus jumped slightly  
and his head immediately turned to the intruder only to find Albus  
Dumbledore sitting in one of his armchairs that had been moved near  
the left side of his bed. Severus was greatly relieved that it was  
Albus, not someone else. He berated himself for not sensing someone  
else in the room. With as many enemies as he had, it could have easily  
meant his life in a different situation. But then, again, Albus was  
always sneaking up on him unheard. Dumbledore was the only person he  
knew who could do that.  
  
"I'm glad to see that you're awake. Feeling better?" said Dumbledore,  
as he used his wand to light a lantern on the stand near the bed,  
relief clear in his voice, as his eyes sparkled behind crescent-shaped  
glasses.  
  
"You've been unconscious for about five hours. I would have had you in  
the hospital wing, but it is full with wounded. Poppy did check you  
over, but she could not find anything wrong with you other the fact  
you had, indeed, been hit with some kind of dark magic and Harry could  
not tell us what curse Voldemort had used against you. Poppy would  
have liked to stay and run more tests but she was needed urgently  
upstairs, so I volunteered to watch over you until you awoke. Frankly,  
I think she was relieved to have me out of the way as well." He  
chuckled lightly.  
  
"Five hours?" asked Snape in disbelief. The gentle older man nodded.  
Severus impatiently threw back the thick, warm covers and tried to get  
out of bed.  
  
"Dear boy, don't get up yet. Poppy will want to check you again now  
that you can answer her questions and there is something you will want  
to see." When Albus reached out toward his left arm, Severus jerked  
away from him and scrambled to the right edge of the bed.  
  
"No, Albus, don't touch me." The Headmaster frowned slightly as he  
contemplated his friend's behavior.  
  
"Severus, whatever is the matter?" asked Dumbledore, clearly confused.  
  
"Just tell me, Albus, has anyone touched me since I fell unconscious?"  
Severus snapped quickly, not answering the Headmaster's question.  
  
He was rather proud of himself because he managed to look Dumbledore  
in the eyes and kept his voice from rising to a higher tone. It was as  
quiet and steady as always. However, it did not keep the Headmaster  
from being surprised at such an unexpected question. Albus'  
penetrating blue eyes were steadily searching his dark ones, obviously  
trying to figure out why he was asking something so bizarre and  
unexpected. It was obviously very important to him.  
  
"Yes Severus," replied Dumbledore slowly, "I tried to catch you when  
you fell unconscious but we both went to the floor. I did manage to  
cushion your fall. You could have really hurt yourself otherwise.  
Poppy of course had to touch you while examining you. I put your sleep  
shirt on you and put you to bed."  
  
"Did anything.happen, when you.broke my fall?"  
  
"Hmmm, well yes, now that you ask, Severus, I felt something when we  
hit the floor and everything looked blurred for a moment, but I was  
more concerned about whether you were hurt than whether I'd been  
jarred by the fall as I caught you. I wasn't hurt at all." (A/N -  
Really, that is what he remembers.)  
  
It took all of Severus' control at the moment to not react outwardly  
to what Albus had just told him. Emotions and wild thoughts tangled  
his mind. He looked from behind a strand of his sleep-tangled black  
hair at the older wizard as Severus concentrated on keeping his  
breathing slow and even. However, it felt as if all the air had been  
knocked out of his body. He felt an unfamiliar wave of panic rising  
again and had to concentrate with all of his might to pull air into  
his body and keep from trembling.  
  
Great Merlin's crystal balls! If what Albus said was true, then he was  
now definitely pregnant. Voldemort's damnable last curse was now  
complete and he was pregnant by the none other than his most trusted  
friend, Albus Dumbledore. If the situation had not been so  
devastating, he would have found it hard to keep from laughing at the  
absurdity and unfair irony of it all, but, as it was, he could barely  
get his numbed mind to grasp the fact.  
  
He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, trying to abolish the  
maniacal look of triumph he had seen in the Dark Lord's face just  
before he had been killed. Voldemort had made sure he knew what it  
meant, what Voldemort had intended this curse to do.  
  
The maniac's foul hissing whisper echoed again in his memory. "I will  
make sure you suffer for months before an extremely slow, painful and  
shameful death."  
  
When Severus still had not spoken after a long moment, Dumbledore  
asked, "Severus, why are you so concerned about whether or not someone  
has touched you?"  
  
He looked up into kind blue eyes, shining with concerned curiosity.  
Severus quickly thought over his options. He could say nothing. This  
whole mess was not Albus' fault, after all. Maybe from there he could  
decide what he was going to do.  
  
However, unless he left the wizarding world entirely, it was not very  
likely that he would be able to keep any part of this a secret, least  
of all from Dumbledore. He did not want Albus to find out like that.  
He would have to tell him at least part of the truth. Besides, Severus  
thought with a snort, give Albus a few more days, and he most likely  
would have everything figured out, since he seemed to know everything  
all the time anyway. Severus took a little perverse pleasure in the  
fact that, even for only a moment, he knew something that Dumbledore  
did not.  
  
However, that feeling quickly dissipated, and he knew he needed to  
tell Albus what was going on, because it would only become more  
difficult the longer he waited.  
  
Severus took a moment staring at the fireplace to gather his thoughts,  
"Remember, I did tell you that Voldemort had cursed me one last time  
just before he was killed?"  
  
Dumbledore nodded his head encouragingly, "Yes, Harry mentioned it as  
well, but he was concerned that he was unable to tell me what the  
curse was. He had been too far away to hear. We were hoping he could  
tell us in case it was the reason you fainted."  
  
"Well." continued Snape, but then stopped not knowing how to put his  
thoughts into words.  
  
How do you tell someone they were going to be the father of a baby a  
man was pregnant with? It was twice as difficult when he still could  
not accept the fact himself. He kept trying to convince himself that  
the curse had not worked, could not work, but, even though he did not  
feel any different, he knew deep down that the curse had worked.  
  
It was useless now to avoid anyone touching him as well, the deed was  
done. There was not a doubt in his mind. However, that knowledge did  
not make the situation any better.  
  
He had great respect for the Headmaster. However, he was a little  
nervous about whether or not the Headmaster would believe him. It was  
extremely rare for human males, including wizards, to become pregnant.  
At least, he consoled himself, if anyone would believe something so  
strange, it would be Albus Dumbledore.  
  
Severus finally made up his mind and slipped off of the other side of  
the bed onto the cold stone floor, still avoiding the Headmaster. He  
picked up the fallen book he had been reading earlier and flipped to  
the page that contained the curse and then thrust it towards the older  
wizard, indicating the entry on the curse in question. He stepped back  
and crossed his arms on his chest.  
  
Dumbledore looked at him questioningly for a moment before looking  
down at the book in his hand and began reading. He almost dropped the  
book by the time he finished. Startled blue eyes shot looks toward  
him, and Severus looked back impassively, none of his many emotions  
showing on his pale face.  
  
The Headmaster continued to stare at him for a minute before he  
managed words again.  
  
"You're.? This means I'm.?"  
  
Severus gave a sharp nod before pacing the floor again like a creature  
trapped in a cage.  
  
Dumbledore removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes tiredly. Albus  
seemed to be having as much difficulty taking in the news as he was  
and the vindictive part of him was quite happy for it because he did  
not want to be the only one struggling with this unbelievable news.  
However, it was becoming disconcerting as the Headmaster kept looking  
down at the passage and then back up at him, as if it could change  
what was written there.  
  
After a few moments of strained silence, Dumbledore stood and placed  
the book on the bed. "Well, we definitely should get Poppy back down  
here to check you over again and make sure you are alright. She will  
need to be informed about what has happened. She did want to know when  
you were awake."  
  
Snape nodded but did not say anything as the Headmaster went over to  
the fireplace and threw a handful of floo powder into the flames. When  
they flared green, he leaned into the flames. "Madam Pomfrey, could  
you come to Severus Snape's quarters as soon as you are available? He  
is awake now."  
  
He was not looking forward to the witch's visit, but he knew he would  
need her expertise and figured he might as well tell her everything  
now.  
  
As Severus watched Dumbledore call for Madam Pomfrey, he suddenly  
noticed how pale the older man was, and how staggered he looked. He  
had never seen the powerful wizard looking like that, but he supposed  
Albus had the right. He had organized a major battle today, which had  
freed the know wizarding world from a deadly menace. He had also lost  
friends, allies and students in the fight. Now he was learning,  
suddenly, that he was going to become a father, without the normal  
activities that would cause a pregnancy. To top it all, it was with a  
man! It had to be twice as disconcerting for a man over a century-and-  
a-half old that probably never expected to be a father at his age.  
  
It was not as if Severus would have ever been likely to be carrying  
said child either. Far from it, he had never expected to find that  
certain woman who would love him enough to want a family with him in  
the normal way. He certainly never would have considered a male  
partner in spite of the rumors that he had. He had found the  
fictitious lovers.useful, if distasteful, in his associations within  
the Death Eaters.  
  
All of this added on top of leading a long war against Voldemort, it  
was no wonder that Albus looked so strained. He imagined he looked  
rather gobsmacked himself.  
  
All too soon for Severus, the tired-looking witch appeared through his  
fireplace, looking slightly pleased that he was awake, but at the same  
time frowning disapprovingly at him.  
  
"Severus, you really should be in bed." Madam Pomfrey scolded as she  
somehow managed to get him back into his bed before he had a chance to  
protest. She immediately produced her wand and started her diagnostic  
charms to make certain that everything was in working order. "I was  
beginning to get a little concerned that you were not awake yet,  
especially since I found out that you had been cursed, but I did not  
find anything wrong with you the first time I examined you, aside from  
a residual sign of some dark magic. Do you know exactly which curse it  
was?"  
  
Severus had developed a professional relationship with Madam Pomfrey  
over the years, based on mutual respect. She had seen him in some of  
his most embarrassing moments. If she cared to, she had more than  
enough material to blackmail him for the rest of his life. She had  
been his healer from when he was a first-year student to the times  
when she had cared for his wounds while he was a spy, so he did not  
hesitate to tell her.  
  
"Ingravesco."  
  
By the shocked looked on her face, he could tell that she knew  
something about this rare curse. However, she quickly schooled her  
face back into its normal no-nonsense mask and turned her scan to his  
abdomen. She frowned in concentration, murmuring all the while, before  
looking him straight in eye and said, "Well, this is quite unusual."  
She then did another full-body scan, slower this time.  
  
"I'd say that was the understatement of the year." He sneered, but  
Pomfrey completely ignored him. She was use to his dark moods and  
snarky comments.  
  
"Now that I know what to look for, I can detect its effects. This  
curse is centered in your abdomen, as I expected, but it winds  
throughout your body as well. It is strongly linked to your heart,  
too. Before you get any ideas, you need to be aware that there is no  
known way to break this curse."  
  
Severus nodded. "It was described in one of my books on curses, there.  
I looked it up as soon as I got back here." He indicated the tome on  
the bed, still opened to the passage about the Engravesco Curse, just  
as Dumbledore had left it. Poppy merely nodded and went on with her  
examination.  
  
"Yes, Severus, I'm afraid you are indeed pregnant." She did not seem  
to find this to be good news nor in the least amusing. That alone  
worried Severus.  
  
"I never thought I would ever see a pregnant male, for it is extremely  
rare. The last recorded case of a pregnant man was over fifty years  
ago. There are probably many cases that go unrecorded though. I have  
to tell you that I really do not know all that much about male  
pregnancies. I don't know if anyone in this day and age does. I will  
have to do some research. However, I can give you a little information  
about the Ingraveso Curse. I only know about it because my mentor was  
fascinated with rare and obscure curses and always had me looking up  
information on one or another. I probably know as many of those curses  
in that book as you do, Severus." Poppy explained. "Now, what you can  
expect.."  
  
"He's keeping the baby, unless it is seriously going to harm him."  
interrupted Dumbledore.  
  
Pomfrey whirled around, surprised at the Headmaster's outburst. She  
took a moment to study the powerful wizard, who was looking quite calm  
though a little worn out. She noticed a stubborn expression on his  
face that plainly said he was getting his way and the subject was  
closed. This was quite rare for the headmaster. Normally, he would  
gently manipulate people to get his way, instead of being so  
forthright with his opinion. Most people hardly even noticed. She  
turned back to Snape, to see how he was taking the Headmaster's  
announcement. Snape was glaring at Dumbledore.  
  
Shaking her head impatiently, she said, "It really does not matter  
what Severus wishes, Albus, as it would be extremely dangerous to  
terminate this pregnancy and would most likely kill him, even now, so  
early in the pregnancy. This particular curse pervades the entire body  
and changes it in subtle ways to permit the pregnancy to progress. Any  
tampering, any at all, with its course could cause severe internal  
damage or death to Severus. It is an extremely powerful curse. The  
only way it will end is when the baby is born or, otherwise, when  
Severus dies."  
  
Pomfrey was carefully watching Severus as she said this, but he had  
his usual annoyed sneer in place. He wore it like a mask, she knew, to  
hide his feelings. She really wished she could tell what was going on  
in his mind, but his expression gave little away, other than the fact  
he was not happy with Dumbledore for his declaration just then.  
Hopefully the reasons behind Albus' sudden outburst would be explained  
soon. She was beginning to have an idea why though..  
  
"Albus told me that when you fainted earlier you appeared to be dizzy,  
Severus. How do you feel now, any dizziness, nausea or other odd  
sensations?"  
  
"Ever since I was hit with the curse I felt dizzy and nauseous,  
although it has faded. When I saw Albus in my room, though, I had what  
could only be called a panic attack. My heart started racing, I  
couldn't catch my breath and I became very dizzy. That is when I  
passed out." Also, when I got pregnant, he thought. "I am still mildly  
nauseous since I woke, but it too is fading." Snape sat up now that  
the healer was through with her examination.  
  
"That would be the work of the curse. It has been found that it  
'assists' the completion of the curse by rendering the victim  
unconscious, thereby being more likely to be touched by someone."  
  
"As for what to expect during your pregnancy," continued Poppy, "I  
will have to do some detailed research on male pregnancy at St.  
Mungo's, and I suggest you do the same in the library here. You can  
also look up reference material on female pregnancy, as there are, of  
course, certain similarities." Snape nodded.  
  
"It would be helpful to know who the.erm.other father is, so I can  
have the medical information for both of you. Do you know who it is?"  
She asked with a look of professional indifference masking her  
curiosity.  
  
"I am." Dumbledore declared from behind her.  
  
Pomfrey turned and gave the Headmaster a look that neither Severus nor  
Albus could quite read before she gave him a nod of acknowledgement.  
  
She then turned to Severus, "Now, I want you to eat a full well-  
balanced meal tonight and drink plenty of water and juice, no alcohol.  
You are a little dehydrated. I'm sure you haven't had anything to eat  
today, like most of us, so start by nibbling on some toast or bread if  
you still feel nauseated. You will need to eat more regular meals now,  
for you own health as well as the baby's. I would like to see you in  
about a week so we can compare what we both have found in our  
research. Oh, I should remind you to be cautious about the potions you  
use now. I'm sure you know which ones to avoid."  
  
"Yes, I believe I do, Madam Pomfrey."  
  
Snape then stood and crossed his arms across his chest as if he was  
lecturing students. "Madam Pomfrey, Professor Dumbledore, sir, I want  
it understood that I do not wish word of this to become public  
knowledge. If anyone asks about the curse, simply imply that it was  
something that will eventually compromise my health and that I do not  
wish to speak of it. If anyone else needs to know the truth, I wish to  
be consulted about it first. I will deal with other aspects of.of.my  
pregnancy," He hesitated to even say it yet. "when they occur."  
  
Poppy gripped his shoulder. "Severus, I would not dream of letting  
word out without your approval. It would be a breach of my oath as a  
healer and, as a friend, I wouldn't think of it either."  
  
Albus nodded. "I will protect your privacy as I always have, Severus.  
Never fear."  
  
"Oh, there was one other thing we noticed when I examined you earlier.  
I'm willing to bet that Albus forgot to tell you in light of all  
this." She reached and took Snape's left hand, rolling up the sleeve  
of his sleep shirt to reveal..nothing.  
  
His Dark Mark was gone! The skin there would never be smooth as new  
again, too many scars criss-crossed it, but it no longer showed a  
trace of Voldemort's ugly brand.  
  
"I assume it disappeared when Voldemort was killed, Severus. I thought  
you'd like to know." She smiled at him as he ran his fingertips  
lightly over the skin of his forearm with wonder in his eyes, in spite  
of the turmoil he was going through because of his curse.  
  
Madam Pomfrey then wished them both a good night and flooed back to  
the hospital wing. The moment she disappeared from sight Severus  
turned to Dumbledore.  
  
"Who gave you the right to decide whether to keep the child or not?  
Not that I apparently have that choice to make!"  
  
"The child is mine as well." commented Dumbledore calmly, with just a  
hint of finality to his voice, seemingly unaffected by the other man's  
tone, letting the Potion Master know that he was not going to be  
completely pushed out of the picture. "No matter that this was  
unintended. I plan on accepting my responsibility for this new life."  
  
"Be that as it may," snapped Snape, his eyes blazing with barely  
controlled rage, "you still have no right to tell me what I am going  
to do in anything other than Hogwarts business. If you have a problem  
with that, you should bring it up with me first."  
  
Dumbledore's eyes sparked as he said, "We'll discuss this later. Right  
now, I'll go see about getting some food sent here for you." and he  
walked over to the still-blazing fireplace and cast more floo powder  
onto the fire, turning the bright red-and-orange flames to green, and  
walked through, leaving the sputtering man behind him.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
(Never fear, lots more to come, guaranteed.)  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
Answers to Reviews -  
  
SalemCat - Glad to see you like this story too.  
  
Gallant - I'm new to writing this story. You must have confused me  
with Hufflepuff's Badger who let me take over this story. I appreciate  
your review too. I hope I live up to your expectations.  
  
Selua - I wish I could take all the credit for the story idea, but it  
all goes to Hufflepuff's Badger. This was originally her story.  
  
Little girl - I'm sorry if the story gets to be too dramatic for you,  
but I did make it clear that this was an angst story - it HAS to be  
dramatic.  
  
Made - I hope I live up to expectations for you too.  
  
Aku Maru - I will try to keep this story in line with events in OotP,  
but it is already Alternate Universe anyway. There will be some  
differences.  
  
Elysia1 - I don't know how funny this story will be, but there are  
bound to be some humorous parts too. I can't bear to write anything  
without a touch of humor.  
  
E5, npetrenko, DarkHorse7, Sevter1, Samson, and Delaney - Thank you  
all for your encouragement. I do plan on continuing this story as long  
as possible. I cannot promise additional chapters on any kind of  
regular schedule, but I will keep working at them.  
  
~~Barbara Kennedy~~  
~~~~ 


	3. Disturbing Information

Learning to Live Again  
  
By: Barbara Kennedy  
  
Disclaimer: It all belongs to J.K. Rowling, even this Alternate  
Universe most of us play in.  
  
Author's Note: This story contains male pregnancy, but it is  
definitely not a slash story nor is it likely to become one, so don't  
ask. In this story Snape is comfortably heterosexual. I've decided to  
change the rating to PG-13 due to frank discussion of anatomy,  
pregnancy and its symptoms and possible grossness and language.  
  
I'm very sorry it has taken me so long to post this chapter, there  
were some major hurdles (for me, anyway) I had to overcome before I  
could finish it, like who lived after the battle and who was hurt and  
how badly. I'm still not happy with it but I wanted to get this to you  
before you thought I had abandoned the story. I also apologize for the  
large amount of author's notes at the beginning. I'm trying to get rid  
of a bunch of these by the next chapter. I'll just move most of it to  
my author's page.  
  
Just remember, I'm doing this for fun and I don't have a set deadline.  
I know you all want regular updates, but I can't promise them. This is  
going to be a long story for it to be told properly, so bear with me.  
  
**********************************************  
Important Author's Note: Something I forgot to establish in the  
earlier chapters, the date of the Hogwarts Battle is March 8, 1998,  
(Which I looked up - it was a Sunday.) in Harry's seventh year as a  
student. (Many thanks go to the HP Lexicon for their Timeline!)  
Silly me, I don't know how I missed that important tidbit, as it is  
going to be VERY important in figuring a due-date.  
**********************************************  
  
*stressed words* (because italics don't work)  
//thoughts//  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Chapter 3 - Disturbing Information  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The meal was delivered to his room by a house elf within only ten  
minutes, but Dumbledore did not return. When asked, the house elf  
shook her head as she placed the large well-laden tray on Severus'  
desk. "Binna is bringing the tray for Professor Snape when Headmaster  
was called away. Too many people is needing to see Headmaster when he  
should be resting. Unless Professor Snape needs anything else Binna is  
going back to the kitchen to help, is so much to do for poor masters."  
  
//Yes, I would imagine the whole school is still in an uproar after  
today. Why did Albus take the time to baby-sit with *me* today? He  
must have been taking messages while he was here. Bloody Ministry  
likely sent owls every five minutes. He probably had the fireplace  
going all day with floo calls. He could never neglect the rest of the  
school for that long. I can well imagine the parents have been in a  
panic as well, not to mention the blasted reporters that must be  
swarming over the place like ants. Then again, I wouldn't put it past  
Poppy to have slipped Albus a mild sleeping potion while she was here  
examining me earlier today just to make him rest. I can't imagine why  
he was sitting here in the dark when I woke otherwise.//  
  
While such thoughts raced through his head, Severus dismissed the  
house elf. "No, that will suffice for now Binna. I will call if I need  
anything else."  
  
His nausea had faded enough that he really was feeling hungry now. He  
also realized he was very thirsty, nearly parched. It was not too  
surprising, since the last time he remembered drinking anything was  
when he had a cup of tea after dinner the night before.  
  
As Poppy instructed, he started slowly with just a bit of bread and a  
glass of water. He immediately felt better. He concluded that his  
lingering nausea must have come from being so dehydrated. Before long,  
he had finished everything on the tray including a full pitcher of  
pumpkin juice and a small plate of assorted biscuits. He particularly  
enjoyed the ginger snaps.  
  
When he had finished his meal, Severus sat staring into the fire still  
brightly burning in the fireplace and tried to analyze the day's  
events in a calmer light. He was still achingly tired and knew he  
should sleep but his mind was too active to settle.  
  
Five hours of being unconscious is not the same as sleeping for the  
same amount of time. He had found that out a long time ago. Even after  
trying to clear his mind with Occlumency techniques, he was still too  
agitated to sleep.  
  
Was it an after-effect of the curse that kept him so tense? There was  
still something about the day's events that was pressing on his mind.  
He felt that he was missing some vital detail.  
  
Severus closed his eyes to concentrate on remembering the details. The  
answer must be in those last few minutes of the battle. He decided to  
bring out his Pensieve. He drew out several threads of thought and sat  
studying them as they were revealed on the shimmering surface.  
  
Among all the confused scenes of the fighting around the castle and  
its grounds, the last minutes of the battle with the Dark Lord kept  
surfacing.  
  
"*I* will make sure you suffer for months before an extremely slow,  
painful and shameful death."  
  
//He had stressed the word 'I'.  
  
That means that he, personally, must have intended to see to that  
eventuality.  
  
He must have intended to capture me then, to hold me totally in his  
power.  
  
That sickening look in his red eyes, it was nothing less than unholy  
anticipation.  
  
No, no, surely not. . . yes, he would, he is - *was* - that sick and  
twisted. . .  
  
He intended to complete the curse himself, the Dark lord intended to  
touch me first.  
  
Oh Dear Merlin! If Potter hadn't broken loose . . . hadn't managed  
whatever curse he used to kill Voldemort . . .  
  
I would have been carrying Voldemort's accursed spawn and would have  
been totally under his power, nothing more than a breeding slave!//  
  
Severus' heart was racing again. He was also trembling as if in the  
after-effects of an extended Cruciatus Curse.  
  
Severus rose and dressed quickly. He felt the need to do something,  
anything, to escape his thoughts at the moment.  
  
He could not risk taking a Dreamless Sleep Potion now, probably not  
for the next nine months, so even if he did go to sleep it would only  
lead to nightmares.  
  
He locked away the Pensieve without returning his thoughts. He would  
deal with them later.  
  
Without conscious thought, his feet tread the well-known path to his  
potions laboratory. After placing locking wards on the door, he  
quickly set up several cauldrons and began brewing several strengths  
of healing potions and in one larger cauldron he began a Calming  
Potion, aware that they would all be needed in the after-effects of  
the battle that was just fought.  
  
He slowly grew calmer as he immersed himself in the rhythms and  
concentration necessary to brew several potions at once. The  
repetition of the selecting, chopping and preparation of the  
ingredients had a soothing effect on his jangled nerves. He shut out  
all other thoughts and stilled all emotions as his total focus became  
those slowly simmering cauldrons and their important contents.  
  
It was long after midnight by the time Severus bottled and labeled the  
last of the potions and carefully cleaned all his equipment. Then he  
boxed the potion bottles and brought out his wand to levitate them to  
the hospital wing for use. He would not risk sending them through the  
fireplace by floo, even if he carried each box himself.  
  
As he walked up the stairs from his dungeon laboratory, he realized  
that he had not even inquired who had survived the day's battle, nor  
did he know who had been hurt or how badly. He was sure only that  
Potter, Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey were apparently unhurt.  
  
He had seen some people on both sides fall in the battle but didn't  
know for sure who they were or if they got up to fight again. No,  
wait, he had seen Hagrid being carried somewhere by that giant brother  
of his just before Voldemort had arrived. He'd had to restrain Potter  
from running after him.  
  
He hoped Hagrid was alive. He actually liked the bumbling half-giant  
even if Hagrid's rough ways often irritated him. Hagrid had been the  
one to gently carry him, as easily as one would carry a child, to the  
hospital wing more than a few times when he had been found at the edge  
of the Forbidden Forest or at the castle gates, too weak or injured to  
make it all the way to the castle by himself after a disastrous Death  
Eater meeting.  
  
In spite of common opinion that he was heartless, cruel and, according  
to many, an evil git, he saw many of his colleagues as friends, almost  
family.  
  
He could not see himself as the monster that some made him out to be,  
either. If he were, he would never have risked his life for the Order  
the way he did. Certainly Dumbledore would never have placed such  
trust in him.  
  
Perhaps, now that he was free of the necessity of spying on Voldemort,  
perhaps he could work at forging closer personal ties without fear of  
being exposed. It had been a long and lonely existence. Now that  
Voldemort was truly dead, he didn't want to go back to living that  
way.  
  
As soon as he left the stairway to the dungeons, Severus was aware of  
changes in normal activity. He was surprised that there were still  
people in the main hallway moving back and forth to the Great Hall or  
the Hospital Wing at this time of night.  
  
As he walked toward the Hospital Wing, he noted that a few people were  
wearing the healer's-green uniforms of nurses and doctors from St.  
Mungo's Hospital, but many were older students of the school  
apparently helping to tend the wounded or running errands. Some of  
them were sporting bandages as well. There were a few house elves seen  
carrying linens or trays.  
  
He did not attempt to stop any of the students to give detentions or  
take house points, though more than a few seemed to blanch at his  
approach, fully expecting him to call their names and take house  
points the moment they saw him.  
More than one student stood with their mouth hanging open as he simply  
ignored their presence and strode past them on his way to deliver the  
potions.  
  
The greatest surprise of the night came when he was stopped at the  
door of the Hospital Wing by an Auror who demanded to know who he was  
and what he was doing there, refusing to allow him entrance.  
  
He responded with a deadly glare. "I am Professor Severus Snape, the  
Potions Master of this school, and I am here to deliver these healing  
potions that I've been up most of the night brewing, you imbecile!  
What does it look like I'm doing?"  
  
At the fuss in the doorway, Molly Weasley came storming out, looking  
tired and a bit disheveled.  
"What in Merlin's name is going on out here? Oh, hello Professor  
Snape, I'm glad to see you up and about. I had heard you were  
unconscious and that Headmaster Dumbledore was sitting with you in  
your room."  
  
"Yes, he was, Mrs. Weasley, but I recovered much earlier this evening  
and Headmaster Dumbledore has retired for the night, I believe. I have  
been brewing extra healing potions as I believe there is a need for  
them."  
  
She turned to scold the Auror as she would one of her own children.  
"Honestly, Jasper! Do you think you could possibly make a little more  
noise to disturb everyone in the middle of the night? If you are going  
to challenge someone, step away from the door first or put a silencing  
charm up. People *are* trying to sleep in there."  
  
Molly gave the chastened Auror a push out of the doorway and motioned  
for Snape to come in. Auror Jasper allowed him to enter with his  
levitating boxes and resumed his post by the door. Apparently Molly  
Weasley's word on Professor Snape was good enough recommendation for  
him.  
  
"Madam Pomfrey has gone to bed, the poor dear was about asleep on her  
feet and she does have other healers from St. Mungo's here to help  
now, thank goodness. The Ministry has turned the school into a  
temporary hospital for Hogsmeade as well, you see. I've also  
volunteered to help, since my children need me here for them. Oh, my  
poor babies! George and Ron were both hurt so badly; George was  
knocked from his broom by spells while defending Hogsmeade from the  
air and has back injuries and broken bones. Fred and Hermione won't  
leave their side. Ron had broken ribs and a puncture lung, broken arm,  
and concussion. My poor Arthur is stuck at the Ministry, terribly  
worried for the children, but he's needed there now, you see."  
  
Molly chattered on. With her help, Snape was putting away the potions  
he had spent so much energy on that night. His fatigue was beginning  
to manifest itself in slight tremors running throughout his body. He  
welcomed the tired feeling though. Perhaps now he could sleep without  
dreams.  
  
He didn't even mind Molly Weasley's incessant chatter right now  
because he *had* been curious about what had happened and her voice  
was helping him to stay awake long enough to finish the job here. He  
gathered bits of information as he let her talk without comment.  
  
Most of what he gathered from Molly's ramblings boiled down to better  
news than he had hoped. The battle could have turned out so much  
worse.  
  
Many of Voldemort's supporters were captured after the battle and  
held, temporarily, at the school but kept in a secure place until they  
were quickly taken away to face trial.  
  
There were not as many dead as he had feared but the number was still  
too large. Argus Filch and his cat, Mrs. Norris, had been among the  
first to die that morning. Professor Vector, Madam Hooch, and seven  
students were dead, two of them Prefects. They were not all  
Griffyndors either.  
  
Most of the students had escaped serious injury because they stayed  
within the school. The younger students, fifth years and under, had  
been confined to their house dormitories once it was known that they  
were under attack. Sixth and seventh year student had been allowed to  
choose whether or not to join the fight or to remain and defend the  
younger students if needed.  
  
Minerva McGonagall and Professor Flitwick were injured while helping  
to hold wards in place when hit with Crucio then stunned. Flitwick had  
also enchanted suits of armor and other items within the school to  
defend the students.  
  
The Three Broomsticks was torched along with a few more businesses  
like Honeydukes and The Hogshead. Madam Rosmerta suffered some burns  
while fighting the fire.  
  
Mundungus Fletcher had been at the Hogshead in Hogsmeade when it  
caught on fire. He was stabbed while fighting one of the people who  
had started the fire, but is expected to make a full recovery.  
  
Remus Lupin was also injured in the battle at Hogwarts, though not  
severely. There were many of the members of the Order of the Phoenix  
that had not been heard from since the end of the battle, but Molly  
was confident that they would hear from them soon.  
  
Draco Malfoy had almost been killed by his own father, who had  
apparently escaped after the battle. Draco's face is bandaged over the  
entire left side. He almost lost his left eye and is blind on that  
side now. He may end up wearing an eye-patch because his eye is  
discolored and unsightly.  
  
Severus went in to see Draco and the other students. They were all  
asleep. Severus sat down in a chair near Draco's bed and soon fell  
asleep there, head propped on his arms. Molly, who was still awake,  
covered him with a blanket and left him there.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
In the next week, Snape had felt almost numb to everything around him.  
He was still in shock about what had happened to him. Outwardly, he  
still appeared 'normal' to the rest of the school. Perhaps they even  
thought he had mellowed because he hadn't handed out any detentions or  
taken points from any students. He spent a lot of time in the library  
when he wasn't brewing more potions for the Hospital Wing.  
  
His sleep had been sparse because he could not risk taking the  
sleeping draughts he had come to depend on far too much. They  
contained ingredients that could be dangerous to him while he was  
pregnant. When he did sleep he was disturbed by a whole new variety of  
nightmares of Voldemort completing his curse, capturing him and  
keeping him chained in a dungeon until he was able to cut his evil  
demon-child from Severus' torn and bleeding body on a black altar,  
leaving him to die. At that point he usually awoke screaming.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
All classes had been cancelled for the week to allow teachers and  
students time to recover from the trauma and wounds of the battle and  
to bury and mourn their dead.  
  
Repairs were made to the castle and protective spells surrounding it  
were renewed and strengthened. Security was still important because  
many of Voldemort's supporters had escaped after the battle and some  
encounters had still occurred with Death Eaters during the last week.  
Many of Voldemort's supporters are still at large. Chief among them  
was Lucius Malfoy.  
  
Hagrid was found by a small search group wandering back to the school  
on his own from the Forbidden Forest the second day after the battle.  
He told them that Grawp had taken him to the Centaurs for help and  
then disappeared again. He still had a few wounds that Madam Pomfrey  
healed and then sent him back to his own hut to recover.  
  
According to the reports in the Daily Prophet, simultaneous attacks by  
Voldemort's supporters led by his Death Eaters had occurred at other  
places the same day that Hogwarts was attacked, Ministries of Magic in  
more than one country, and other wizard's schools, including  
Beauxbatons in France. Even Gringotts Bank in Diagon Alley had been  
attacked by a small group of Voldemort's supporters, though the  
Goblin's security measures prevented their success.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Dumbledore constantly seemed to be watching or hovering over Snape.  
Albus's concern was becoming so apparent that people were starting to  
question his sudden over-protectiveness. Word *had* gotten around that  
Snape had been hit by some kind of terrible killing curse. Speculation  
was rampant that it was going to slowly kill the Potions Master. He  
did not correct the rumor.  
  
//Who knows, it may very well be correct?//  
  
Severus was beginning to resent all this sudden attention from  
Dumbledore, however, he would never tell Albus exactly how he felt for  
he did not see that it would make a difference. In combination with  
some new physical changes, it served to make him even more moody and  
irritable, taking out his frustration on those around him and making  
the students even more miserable.  
  
Madam Pomfrey was just as meddlesome, in her own way, as Dumbledore,  
but at least she seemed genuinely concerned about *his* well-being  
more than that of the baby. She often came down to the dungeon to talk  
with him under the valid excuse of needing some potion or another,  
sharing any new research she had come across, making sure that he was  
not having any problems and giving advice on what he should and should  
not be doing. She was keeping an uncomfortably close eye on him when  
all he wanted was to be left alone. However, it was clear that she was  
not going to stop her 'mother-hen routine' anytime soon.  
  
He had met with her away from the hospital wing every day since she  
had been notified of his condition. Today, he still had to meet with  
her right after lunch to compare notes on their research on male  
pregnancies. He had not found much yet.  
  
Once again, today, he found himself in the library, hidden between  
mountainous piles of old books, scrolls and papers, looking up  
whatever information on pregnancy he could glean from them.  
  
Severus had no trouble finding innumerable books on female  
reproduction and pregnancy, including a few new muggle books. While  
skimming through the large tomes, he fervently hoped that his  
pregnancy was not going to be anything like the female version. He did  
not wish to deal with morning sickness, back-pains, swollen ankles and  
mood swings.  
  
The whole process just seemed intolerable and he could not imagine any  
sane person willing to put themselves through such misery.  
  
Then, again, there were those, like Molly Weasley, that had endured  
more than one pregnancy, even welcomed it. Severus believed they had  
to be crazy.  
  
He became even more apprehensive as he read through all the  
information on pregnancy and its possible complications, of which  
there was an alarmingly long list. However, there was not much written  
about male pregnancies. He knew that it was an extremely rare  
occurrence for men, whether muggle or wizard, to become pregnant.  
  
Even among wizards it usually involved magic in some way, but it was  
apparent that it happened less often than he thought because he had  
not found more than a few scattered sentences on the subject in some  
of the more obscure books. However, he knew for a fact that wizards  
seemed to have a book on every topic that had to do with magic,  
including "Magical Hats for Every Occasion".  
  
Snape was about to give up on his search for today since it was about  
time for his appointment with Madam Pomfrey, when he noticed a chapter  
entitled 'The Male Mother' in the index of the book "Magical  
Pregnancy." He had found that book in the Restricted Section of the  
Library only that morning. Excited, he skipped to that chapter and  
quickly began to read what the it had to say. Finally, he had found  
something substantial on male pregnancy!  
  
However, as he began to read, he paled and his stomach began to feel  
queasy. He was soon wishing for a female pregnancy instead.  
  
He picked up the book and shrunk it with a touch of his wand to the  
size of a deck of cards. Looking to see that no one was watching, he  
put it in an inner pocket of his robes, then quickly replaced the  
other reference materials in their shelves. He did not want the  
librarian, Madam Pince, to become curious about why he was looking for  
information on pregnancy.  
  
The last thing he wanted was for the Hogwarts rumor mill to be passing  
around speculations that would, very likely, be far from the truth. It  
could be devastating, whether it was correct or not. It could even be  
worse than the truth that he was trying to reveal.  
  
His gaze swept around him, making sure no one had been around to see  
him conceal the book. He left the library and quickly headed straight  
to the hospital wing. He was almost there when he caught sight of  
Dumbledore, in his brightly coloured robes, waiting for him in the  
hallway by the Hospital entrance.  
  
Dumbledore gave him a cheery smile, his clear blue eyes sparking  
behind his glasses as he caught sight of the younger man. "Hello,  
Severus, you were missed at lunch."  
  
"I had some research to complete in the library. Do you need  
something, Headmaster?" keeping his voice neutral as he watched the  
other man from behind a strand of his black hair.  
  
"I wanted to be here for your examination." explained Dumbledore,  
smiling. "I want to make sure that everything is progressing well."  
  
Severus debated whether it was worth arguing that he did not need nor  
want anyone there with him as he was examined, but he quickly decided  
that, if he were to protest, they would spend pointless time debating  
the issue. It was an argument which he was sure to loose and end up  
being late for his appointment. Besides which, there was too great a  
risk of someone hearing them here in the hallway. He said nothing and  
walked around Dumbledore and into the Hospital Wing with the  
Headmaster following closely behind.  
  
Both men walked into the meticulously clean Hospital Wing, where  
Severus was relieved to see that the patient's area was screened off  
from the doorway by a set of movable privacy panels. A private room  
had been made available for his exam. The last thing he wished was for  
another person, especially a student, to be in the near vicinity when  
he was being examined, especially since he was now aware of what the  
examination may include after his recent in-depth studies of the  
subject  
  
He knew it was almost impossible to keep secrets in the school, but he  
wished to keep his secret for as long as possible. The paranoid part  
of him would have much preferred having this examination outside of  
Hogwarts, but the rational part of him knew that was being  
unreasonable.  
  
"Hello Severus, you're on time, as usual. Please come in and sit on  
the bed. Remove your shirt."  
  
Severus entered and Albus came in right behind him, pulled up a chair  
and sat down next to the bed as Severus removed his black outer robe,  
frock coat and white shirt. Pomfrey walked around to the other side of  
the bed, eyeing both of the men curiously.  
  
"Hello, Headmaster." She nodded a greeting as she pulled out her wand  
and began her first diagnostic charm.  
  
She noticed that Severus kept giving Albus uncomfortable glances from  
the corner of his eyes, his lips compressing every time he did so. She  
realized that Severus was not happy about the headmaster's presence  
and wondered if Albus was aware that Severus did not want him there  
and was just choosing to ignore it, or if he was truly oblivious to  
Severus' feelings.  
  
Whatever the answer, she knew she would have to get the older wizard  
to leave before she would be able to talk to Severus freely about any  
concerns he was having. Severus was not normally one to openly show  
his emotions or express his personal thoughts. He was a very private  
man.  
  
She could tell he was uncomfortable in Dumbledore's presence. Poppy  
couldn't figure out why that was, but she guessed, from impressions  
from their earlier discussions, that Severus did not want to  
disappoint or worry the Headmaster. He was also having trouble  
adjusting to the idea that he was going to have Albus' child, no  
matter how it was conceived.  
  
At first glance, Poppy could already see minor but significant changes  
in Severus. His face, usually almost gaunt, had a fuller appearance  
and there was a slight darkening in the skin across his cheeks and  
forehead. He was developing a 'pregnancy mask' and it showed against  
his normally sallow complexion more than it might in anyone else. At  
this time it just looked like a motley, uneven tan.  
  
"Lie back on the bed and let me have a good look now." Madam Pomfrey  
drew out her wand to begin the first of several diagnostic charms. She  
noted that Severus was still almost painfully thin. He had never had  
much flesh on his bones. She would need to make sure he ate well and  
put on a little weight.  
  
As she scanned over him, various colors, pictures and even sounds were  
revealed only to her, by means of the charms she used, that indicated  
the condition and health of his body and the workings of its various  
systems. Some of the charms also revealed the current magics residing  
in his body. Some things she could see without charms, like an aura  
around her patient. Her healer training had taught her to interpret  
the meanings of everything she saw with her talent and charms.  
  
"Well, Severus," began Poppy, "everything looks fine so far. I would  
still like to see you more frequently than I would for a regular  
pregnancy, but other than that, I would just like you to remember all  
the things that I have already told you; be cautious of the potions  
you use, no alcohol, drink lots of water, juices and some milk as  
well, make sure you get plenty of sleep and you need to make sure you  
eat sufficient meals on a *regular* schedule, four small meals are  
better than one large one. Inform me if you begin to feel anything  
unusual, anything at all. If you have any questions, just let me  
know."  
  
"Wonderful!" Dumbledore exclaimed from where he was sitting. "When  
will we be able to know the gender of our child?"  
  
Poppy saw Severus close his eyes. //Was Severus cringing at that  
thought? Was it Albus's presence or was it his use of the word 'our'  
that bothered him so much?//  
  
"Not for a little while yet Albus, the embryo has not yet developed  
enough." replied Pomfrey. Dumbledore sighed dejectedly for a moment,  
and then his eyes sparkled brightly again.  
  
"Well then, in the meantime it will be fun thinking of names for a boy  
*or* a girl. The baby will be born in November, I believe? We should  
be able to settle on appropriate names by then." Albus was smiling as  
he gazed at Severus and popped a lemon drop in his mouth.  
  
Madam Pomfrey watched Severus knuckles turn white as they gripped the  
sides of the hospital bed at Albus' words. She quickly turned her full  
attention on him. "Severus, before you leave, I was wondering if you  
could give me a bit more of your time. I recently received a sample of  
a new Bone-mending Draft, and I wanted your opinion on it before  
putting it on my supply list."  
  
Dumbledore stood up and decided that it was time for him to leave now  
that the exam was concluded. He could not keep the excited smile off  
of his face as he turned to the "mother" of his child. "Severus, why  
don't you stop by my office tomorrow afternoon for tea? We have a lot  
of things to discuss."  
  
The Headmaster had already stepped out the door before Snape had a  
chance to respond. Instead, Severus growled in frustration, tightening  
his grip on the hospital bed mattress.  
  
"He is just very happy about the child Severus. He needs a little  
happiness right now." She was trying to get the younger man to  
understand Dumbledore's actions. Depthless, black eyes stared back at  
her, but he remained silent.  
  
"I don't really have a potion for you to look at." explained Pomfrey.  
"I figured you would feel more at ease without the Headmaster here,  
and *we* have a lot to discuss as well.  
  
Snape took a deep breath and let go of the mattress edge. He gave her  
a sharp nod and a twitch of his lips that was probably meant as a  
smile of thanks.  
  
"Severus, what have you found out concerning male pregnancies?" asked  
Poppy carefully, revealing nothing in her face or voice.  
  
"Nothing I could call good." Severus was watching Poppy Pomfrey  
carefully, trying to gauge the gravity of what *she* had learned. She  
did not seem surprised by his answer, but she was not letting much  
slip past her professionalism.  
  
"I would appreciate if you would be totally candid in telling me what  
you have learned in your studies, Poppy. What I have learned so far  
may as well have come from some ancient tome of medieval torture for  
all the hope it conveyed in my chances of surviving this curse."  
  
"I have only found one book so far that has more than a single  
sentence on the subject." Snape took the book from his robe pocket and  
restoring it to original size. "I'm not sure how reliable it is  
because of its age, but it mentions that a male pregnancy is quite  
dangerous because the male body is ill-equipped for such a condition.  
It says that magic can only do so much and that the process is very  
difficult for males and most have not made it alive through the  
delivery process."  
  
Pomfrey nodded and replied, "I wish I could give you better news, but  
the books that I have read say just about the same thing. You are  
aware, then, that a large part of the danger of male pregnancy comes  
from the lack of a uterus, or womb?"  
  
"So I have just learned from this book." Severus had a rather  
distressed look on his face as he lifted the book he had brought from  
the library.  
  
"Have you been experiencing any unusual pain, discomfort or tenderness  
anywhere?"  
  
A spot of red appeared on each of his cheeks as he paused before  
answering her, though his face showed little emotion, as usual.  
  
"Yes, I've notice a bit of discomfort here." He indicated the area  
across his pectoral region [A/N;upper chest/breasts]. "I noticed it  
just yesterday as I was hefting a stack of books against my chest as I  
was putting them in an upper shelf in the library. I thought it may  
have been a muscle strain from the battle last week, but my nipples  
are irritated as well. I have also had some discomfort here in my  
lower abdomen that I was going to ask you about. It began just after  
breakfast today, not really a pain, more like a dull ache or muscle  
cramp. I really didn't feel much like eating lunch today either  
because of a touchy stomach."  
  
Poppy had him recline on the bed again and raise his arms above his  
head. She carefully pressed into the soft flesh on his thin, muscular  
chest, around the recently widened and darkened area around his  
nipples and almost under his arms, noticing that he flinched slightly  
when she pressed hard. She then cast a diagnostic spell over the area  
he had indicated on his abdomen.  
  
"It is nothing to worry about, Severus. You are right on schedule. It  
has been almost a week since conception took place, the embryo is  
implanting itself now. If you had a uterus the embryo would be  
attaching to the inner uterine wall, but since you do not, according  
to what I read in a book by the Healer's Journal, Medica Obscura, it  
is attaching itself to your peritoneum, the serous membrane that forms  
the inner lining of the wall of your abdomen. That is the source of  
your abdominal discomfort. I am confident that the curse will, at  
least, prevent it from attaching to any of your organs, because that  
won't be likely to ensure its survival, or yours. In women this type  
of pregnancy is called an ectopic pregnancy, one occurring outside the  
uterus. In your case we don't have to worry about a possible ruptured  
fallopian tube, where many ectopic pregnancies occur in women."  
  
"I suppose I should be thankful for that, at least."  
  
"There is one thing I do worry about in your case though, Severus. You  
have a lot of scar tissue within your abdominal cavity. All the  
beatings and Cruciatus Curses you've suffered were not without  
consequences. Normally I don't think it would cause you any problems,  
but a pregnancy will put stresses on that tissue and it doesn't  
stretch as easily as normal, unscarred tissue does. I don't dare try  
to do anything about it now though, because any invasion into your  
body, magical or otherwise, may trigger some of the curses worst  
aspects and endanger your life. All we can do is watch for any  
complication that the scars may cause. They may not be a problem after  
all, but I want you to tell me if you have any pains *at all* because  
they may indicate tearing tissue and that can lead to more problems."  
  
While Madam Pomfrey was telling him of her worries, she watched  
Severus unconsciously hold his hands over his abdomen in a protective  
gesture.  
  
//Is he afraid for himself, or for the baby, I wonder if he has  
accepted the fact that he is indeed pregnant? He hasn't asked about  
the baby itself and I don't want to push him, yet.//  
  
His eyes betrayed his mask of indifference with a hint of fear. "I  
will be sure to keep you informed of any discomforts in that case  
Poppy."  
  
"Very good, as for the discomfort in your chest, well, Severus you may  
as well get used to it, the hormones being secreted by the developing  
embryo are causing your mammary glands to develop in preparation for  
feeding the child after its birth."  
  
His eyebrows rose to startling new heights and his face reddened  
perceptibly. "Are you telling me I'm going to grow *breasts*?"  
  
"Yes, all men have mammary glands; they just don't develop as they do  
in females. They will be tender for a while and I'd suggest binding  
your chest to prevent irritation."  
  
"There will be some tissue development and your nipples will enlarge a  
bit, but perhaps not as much as you might fear, but they will remain  
sensitive. There is little I can do about that. However, you can  
minimize your discomfort by keeping them protected. Now, for a woman  
I'd suggest a good maternity support bra. . . "  
  
**"I am NOT wearing one of THOSE!"**  
  
To Poppy's credit she did not crack a smile, though it was difficult  
to suppress, at his expression of offended masculinity, his whole  
being seemed to swell with outrage.  
  
"I didn't expect you would, Severus! That is why I was about to  
suggest a wide stretch band like you've worn when you had broken ribs,  
just not wrapped as tightly. I will provide you with one even though  
you may still have one or two of the bands. I know you've never  
returned any of them. You probably have them in your own little first-  
aid kit that I know you use more than you come to see me. It may be a  
little uncomfortable at first until you are used to it but it will be  
uncomfortable without it soon enough anyway and it will help to hide  
any noticeable development. If anyone notices you wearing it, well,  
you do know that you can always claim a broken rib or two as an  
excuse."  
  
Severus scowled and crossed his arms across his chest in a huff.  
Evidently he did it a bit too vigorously by the way he quickly tried  
to ease his arms off his chest without Poppy noticing. "Well, if you  
insist, I suppose I will try it."  
  
"Very good, Severus, you can dress now unless there is anything else  
you have questions about before we get back to discussing what our  
research has found?"  
  
"Nothing that would be unusual, I was expecting the increased thirst  
and, err, additional trips to the toilet. Although I have been  
noticing that odors seem to be stronger than normal, things that did  
not bother me before have started to be more noticeable and, Poppy, if  
you say one thing about the size of my nose now, I will hex you into  
next week."  
  
Poppy had opened her mouth to say something with a look of amusement  
on her face and instead began chuckling at his words. Was this a hint  
of humor from Snape? "I wasn't going to Severus, honestly. The  
increase in your sense of smell is not unusual either. Have you been  
experiencing any morning-sickness yet?"  
  
"Thankfully, I have not, unless my touchy stomach today is the start  
of it? When should I expect this to occur?"  
  
"It could start at any time now, or, if you are lucky, it may not  
occur at all. It varies from person to person. It doesn't just happen  
in the morning either, just so you know."  
  
"Oh, joy. Since I am cursed, I doubt I am to be spared this unwelcome  
aspect of pregnancy either. I'm just not that lucky."  
  
He quickly pulled on his shirt and finished dressing.  
  
Poppy noted his answers and results in his new medical record and  
resumed their discussion on her research. "I found a book in the  
library at St. Mungo's that told of a much more recent male pregnancy  
than I had read about before. It was actually a detailed journal  
written only twenty years ago by the friend of a wizard that became  
pregnant, so it tells a great deal of what to expect. Fortunately, the  
pregnant wizard did survive, though I'm afraid the child did not, due  
to complications during his delivery. The wizard in the book was not a  
victim of the Ingravesco Curse, however, but used a combination of  
charms and a Fertility Potion, I believe. His name was withheld and  
made untraceable or I might try to contact him personally. I'll give  
the book to you before you leave, if you wish, but it will  
automatically go back to St. Mungo's in a couple of days. It has a  
Recall Charm permanently attached to it." Snape nodded.  
  
"My research has confirmed that we cannot abort the embryo because it  
would mean sure death to you. If we manage to get you through your  
pregnancy, there is a fair chance you will survive. It won't be easy,  
but there IS a chance. There have also been quite a few improvements  
in medical care and obstetrics, both muggle and magical, since some of  
these books were written and we will use any means, magical or muggle,  
to help you."  
  
"I also think your chances would be better if you would let me bring  
in another healer, one more experienced in obstetrics than I am. I'm  
going to have to consult with a colleague before your delivery anyway.  
I want to be sure I know all the newest options and procedures before  
the birth of your child. That seems to be the most dangerous time for  
a pregnant male."  
  
"Poppy, I will consider it if the need arises, but I am not ready to  
let anyone else know of my . . . unique condition just yet. I don't  
have great faith in muggle medicine, Poppy, but I trust your judgment.  
I'll consider muggle methods if you think they will help but I want to  
know before you use any muggle methods. I find myself at a loss since  
my use of potions is severely limited because of this damned curse, if  
not the pregnancy."  
  
A thick silence filled the room, both of them lost in their thoughts.  
Finally Severus said, "I don't want Albus to know about all the risks.  
He is becoming insufferable enough as it is."  
  
Pomfrey's opened her mouth to object, but his expression showed this  
was not something he was willing to negotiate. Poppy sighed, "Alright,  
Severus, but I want you to know right now, I think he should be told.  
It is entirely possible he will find out on his own. He could be a  
great help in figuring out how best to get you through all this. "  
  
Snape said nothing, but Poppy could tell Severus was more than a  
little worried about his future.  
  
"We will get you through this Severus, it may not be easy, but we will  
try our damnedest." She did not think that Severus was reassured. 


	4. Pompous Circumstances

Learning to Live Again  
  
By: Barbara Kennedy  
  
Disclaimer: It all belongs to J.K. Rowling, even this Alternate  
Universe most of us play in.  
  
**Author's Note**: This story contains male pregnancy, but it is  
definitely not a slash story nor is it likely to become one, so don't  
ask. In this story Snape is comfortably heterosexual. I've decided to  
change the rating to PG-13 due to frank discussion of anatomy,  
pregnancy and its symptoms and possible grossness and language.  
  
Just remember, I'm doing this for fun and I don't have a set deadline.  
I know you all want regular updates, but I can't promise them. This is  
going to be a long story for it to be told properly, so bear with me.  
  
** Important Author's Note: Something I forgot to establish in the  
earlier chapters, the date of the Hogwarts Battle is March 8, 1998,  
(Which I looked up – it was a Sunday.) in Harry's seventh year as a  
student. (Many thanks go to the HP Lexicon for their Timeline!)**

Chapter Four: Pompous Circumstances Severus balanced on his toes as he crouched low over the toilet, glad that he had started keeping his shoulder-length hair tied back at his neck to keep most of it away from his face. His stomach seemed to tear itself apart to find anything else it could expel. After a few more spasms with no results, he figured he was done for the moment and carefully stood up, breathing slowly and deeply, trying to calm his nausea. When it finally eased, he went to the sink to rinse his mouth.  
  
This was the third time he had vomited that day.  
  
The castle and grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were finally repaired and safe enough for the Ministry of Magic to use it as the location of its Award and Memorial Service in memory of the valiant sacrifice of those who had lost their lives in the fight against Voldemort as well as to celebrate the surviving heroes of the Final Battle at Hogwarts. Severus Snape was expected to attend. After all, he was now counted as one of those "Noble and Brave Heroes" though perhaps not as loudly or often as was Harry Potter.  
  
He had sneered at the Minister of Magic's invitation to the event when it had arrived by owl-post just days ago and nearly burned it right there at the head table during breakfast, but Headmaster Dumbledore had informed him and the rest of Hogwarts' staff that their attendance was mandatory unless they were still under medical care in the Hospital Wing or at St. Mungo's, as was the tiny Charms Professor, Filius Flitwick, who had quite astounded many by his ferocity in the defense of the school and had been grievously wounded while defending a group of students from Voldemort's minions at the very door to the school.  
  
Severus hated sitting in front of the large crowd of strangers in attendance that night in the Great Hall, as if he was some sort of exotic and rare exhibit on display along with all the other heroes. He had also tried, unsuccessfully, to avoid having his picture taken "to record this important historic moment" as one of the many reporters in the crowd had said.  
  
Severus now stood leaning on the sink, debating whether or not to return to the ceremony. He knew he would not be missed if he did not return. Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge had seemed to be in pain just from calling out his name when he had been awarded the Order of Merlin, First Class, so it was not likely that Fudge would willingly be calling on him to speak this evening.  
  
He had almost disgraced himself in front of the entire gathering when he was hit with another sudden intense wave of nausea. Fortunately for him, it had come after he had accepted his award and returned to his seat. It was at a moment before a new speaker was introduced and everyone was out of their seats applauding anyway. Severus was able to slip out of the hall and rush to the nearest toilet. It was a close call; he had almost not made it.  
  
No, they had Potter to fawn over, so let them. It was not even likely that the Boy-Who-Defeated-The-Dark-Lord would be asked to speak, at least not by Fudge.  
  
He decided that he was in no mood to return to listen to that incompetent ass, Cornelius Fudge, babble on for another hour or so, saying nothing in a very long-winded manner. Fudge enjoyed the sound of his own voice entirely too much.  
  
He thought for a moment about what Albus would say if he didn't return, but at the moment he was not feeling charitable towards the older man for making him come to this ceremony to begin with. It was not as if they couldn't have given him the Order of Merlin privately. Although, Severus allowed a sneering smile to grace his face momentarily at the memory of Fudge's face when he had to shake Snape's hand and be ever-so-polite to him as he gave Severus the medal. That alone had made it worth the misery of enduring this whole tedious evening.  
  
Besides, if he was pressed about it, he could say that he had come. Albus had never said he had to stay for the whole thing. Besides, he was really feeling quite tired and thought it might be best if he just went down to his chambers to rest for a while.  
  
While everyone else, including the Headmaster, was trapped at the ceremony in the Great Hall he felt he could have a few uninterrupted moments alone. They seemed to be a rare commodity lately.  
  
The trip down to his rooms in the dungeons was slower than usual. Severus didn't have the energy to move in his usual long-legged stride tonight. Therefore, he tried to make it appear that he was strolling along deep in thought as he made his way slowly, instead of at his normal sweeping pace, in case he met someone else who had decided to leave the ceremony early.  
  
It wasn't difficult to give the impression that he had a lot on his mind. He had been feeling weak and listless, and it greatly worried him that he already seemed to be having problems with his pregnancy aside from the normal expected troubles, such as the morning sickness. It had now been nearly a month since he had been cursed by Voldemort.  
  
He had been feeling run down all week, and at first, he had thought it was because he had not been sleeping enough. He had been plagued by nightmares almost every night. He had also been kept busy brewing needed potions and helping Draco Malfoy cope with his losses. On top of that, he had been called upon to help prepare extra security wards for the masses of people that were going to invade Hogwarts because of the ceremony.  
  
Apparently, Dumbledore had noticed his lack of energy and delegated him to less strenuous jobs by the end of all the preparation, but still he was tired.  
  
Then there was the fact that he was. . . uncomfortable. He was not sure how else to put it. It was not that he was in any real pain. He just ached a bit. He had been feeling a dull ache all throughout his abdomen and chest. Although, if he did too much and became fatigued, he seemed to easily become short of breath and his heart pounded. He had told Poppy about it in one of their secret meetings. She had examined him and found nothing to explain it. It was her opinion that it was due to his body beginning to go through the changes necessary for the developing fetus. Women had an easier time because their bodies were already designed for child-bearing. Whatever the reason, the discomfort was just enough for him to be unable to ignore it, but not strong enough to really cause him a problem.  
  
Snape's biggest problem with the whole fiasco so far was Dumbledore's behavior toward him. The older Wizard was still following him around constantly and kept showing up uninvited to any scheduled meeting Severus had with Madam Pomfrey. Now, because of this, Severus had taken to having secret appointments with Poppy so he could talk frankly to her about concerns he had about his pregnancy. Poppy was still unhappy that Severus had not informed the Headmaster of the seriousness of his condition but, so far, she had not taken it upon herself to do it instead. Severus was grateful for that, at least.  
  
He was a little surprised that Dumbledore had not figured it all out himself. He usually seemed to know everything that went on under the roof of the school. Severus knew the older wizard had also been researching pregnancy so he could make sure the baby would be healthy. It was Dumbledore's newest interest, he was now spending hours at a time in the library and the Head of Hogwarts was now quoting, when no one else was around, from different books about what Severus needed to do. Sometimes Severus truly believed that Albus Dumbledore was simply going out of his way to irritate him.  
  
Snape figured that Dumbledore was having the same trouble he had encountered while trying to find information about male pregnancy. He knew what a difficult time he had encountered trying to find any references beyond a line or two barely mentioning that male pregnancy was possible. Snape was sure that some of the difficulty Albus was encountering was because the one decent reference book he had found, he had secretly taken from the library. Snape was almost surprised that the strict Hogwarts librarian, Madam Pince, had not missed that particular tome and used the Accio charm to bring the book back to the library by now.  
  
Severus could not deny that Dumbledore truly seemed to want this baby and that he was willing to do anything he could to make sure it was born healthy.  
  
Severus was grateful that, for whatever reason so far, Dumbledore had not been able to figure out exactly how dangerous male pregnancies tended to be, because he could not imagine what Dumbledore would be like once he found out. There would be no living with Dumbledore if he knew. It was bad enough that he, himself knew, and it scared him, more than he cared to admit.  
  
"I will make you suffer for months before an extremely slow, painful and shameful death." Voldemort's last taunting words haunted his dreams now and tortured his thoughts daily. He had not shared that little bit of information with anyone, not even Madam Pomfrey. He was determined that he did not want Dumbledore to ever know the full intent of that final malevolent curse. Severus feared that Voldemort's intent in the use of this particular curse had twisted its possible benevolent effects to a death curse of the darkest variety.  
  
Severus had almost reached the stairs down to the dungeon when he heard someone call his name. He turned to see Minerva McGonagall hurrying toward him. She was doing quite well since recovering from the injuries she had suffered in the battle.  
  
"Severus, are you alright?" questioned the stern but gentle Head of Gryffindor. There was no mistaking the genuine concern in her voice. "I noticed you did not look well during the ceremony, and then you suddenly rushed out of the hall. I just wanted to make sure that you were alright."  
  
Severus deeply respected his fellow co-worker and over the years the two had become friends, or as close to friends as Severus allowed anyone to become. Though, while still a student, he had thought of her as "the enemy" because she was the Head of Gryffindor House, the rival of his own House of Slytherin. He had found a whole new appreciation for her, though, as a colleague. He found that he generally liked her and to his surprise she seemed to like him, they were comfortable in each other's company. Although she was the one other person besides Poppy Pomfrey that he felt he could talk to about his. . . unique situation, he did not feel he could do so, at least, not just yet.  
  
"I'm fine," he replied when the witch had reached his side in the hallway. "I just could not stand another minute of Fudge's self-serving speeches."  
  
Minerva gave him a searching look and Severus found himself fidgeting under her gaze as if he was once again a student in her classroom in some kind of trouble. Her black hair tied up in a tight bun gave her an intimidating appearance and Severus had to remind himself that he was indeed her co- worker and no longer her student.  
  
"Well, I have to agree with you there. That man..." broke off McGonagall, shaking her head in exasperation.  
  
The corners of Severus' lips curled up into a small smile. He almost believed that Professor McGonagall disliked the Minister of Magic more than he did.  
  
"Severus," She said gently, though once again completely serious, "if there is something troubling you, you can always come talk to me. I'm always willing to listen."  
  
He knew he had not fooled her. She could tell there was something troubling him, but she was not going to press him to talk about it. Severus nodded his appreciation, but did not say anything more. He was wondering if she had heard the current rumor that he was dying from a horrific curse. "Well then, good night, Severus." McGonagall gave him one more pointed look, before heading back the way she came. Severus stood there for a moment before making his way down to the dungeons. When he reached his quarters, he decided that he really did not care to sleep just yet, so instead he headed towards his private potions lab.  
  
Severus quietly entered his lab and gathered all the materials he needed to make a healing draught that Poppy was always running out of. He sat down at one of his work areas and began the intricate process of measuring, cutting, shredding, slicing, and grinding the many different ingredients and getting them ready to be added into the potion. Since he was a boy, he had always been very good at potion making, second only to his talent in the Dark Arts. Over the years, potion making had become very therapeutic for him. When he was stressed or needed some time to think, he could always go into his lab and give himself some time alone. Since he had discovered what Voldemort had done to him, he had found himself spending more and more time in his lab. At least here, he felt in control.  
  
"Ah, there you are Severus." came the familiar, ever-cheerful voice of the headmaster.  
  
Severus head shot up in surprise at the unexpected presence and questioned, "Is the ceremony finished?"  
  
"Yes," replied Dumbledore walking further into the room. "It completed just over an hour ago, but many people lingered to speak with me."  
  
Severus looked startled for a moment and then checked his clock. He was surprised to see that three hours had indeed passed since he had entered his lab. He looked around the room and noticed that he had almost finished with the first batch of potion.  
  
"What are you making?" questioned the Headmaster.  
  
"A healing draught for Madam Pomfrey." replied Severus, stirring the simmering purple potion and then removing it from the fire.  
  
The Headmaster frowned slightly and then said, "I wanted to talk you about the upcoming classes."  
  
Though the school year should be officially over, the final battle against Voldemort had caused the school to shut down for a few weeks. Because if this, it had been decided that Hogwarts would remain open for the fifth and seventh years so they could spend some time preparing for their O.W.L.S. and N.E.W.T.S. and then take the tests they needed. Other years could take a break, but next term, they would have to make up the time they had lost. Severus knew all this, and did not see what needed to be discussed. Curious, he nodded towards the Headmaster to proceed.  
  
"I am concern about you teaching Potions while you are pregnant," began Dumbledore, and quickly continued when he saw the younger man open his mouth to protest, "and I have decided to get someone else to teach your classes until after the baby is born."  
  
"Headmaster," objected Severus angrily, his black eyes flaring at the other man, "you can't be serious."  
  
"I am quite serious," stated Dumbledore calmly. "I have already asked Madam Arianna Valdez to take over your classes for you until you are ready to come back."  
  
"Until I'm ready to come back?" Snape repeated in disbelief. His face began to flush with anger. He put down the wooden spoon he had been using to stir the potion because his hands had begun to shake with suppressed anger.  
  
"Yes." confirmed Dumbledore. "I know you may be unhappy with me at the moment, Severus," Albus continued quickly, seeing how red-faced the Potions Master was becoming, "but it is really for the best. Just look around you," said the headmaster gesturing towards all the ingredients on the worktable, "there are many harmful potions and ingredients that could cause you or the baby harm. What if there was a potion accident? You have always complained about the students, Neville Longbottom in particular, exploding or melting their cauldrons. If you were involved in one of those incidents, it could seriously affect the health of the baby. There is just so much that could go wrong."  
  
"You are being unrealistic," Severus hissed between his teeth, trying to calm himself, "there are dangers everywhere, and you can't protect me from everything."  
  
"Perhaps not," agreed Dumbledore, "but I can remove some of the risks." Albus looked at Severus with solemn eyes before stating, "I know you may disagree with my decision, but you are now relieved from your teaching duties until after the baby is born."  
  
Severus paled and opened his mouth to speak but then snapped it shut. His withering glare swept over Dumbledore before he angrily stormed from the room without another word, slamming the door behind him.  
  
TBC

  
  
Well, I know that was short, but I have been getting so many wonderful requests for me to get back to this story, that I felt I absolutely MUST get something posted for you. This was a part of a much longer bit, but the rest of it is in severe need of a rewrite before I will be posting it.


	5. Untimely Revelations

**Learning to Live Again**  
  
By: Barbara Kennedy  
  
Disclaimer: It all belongs to J.K. Rowling, even this Alternate  
Universe most of us play in.  
  
**Author's Note:** This story contains male pregnancy, but it is  
definitely not a slash story nor is it likely to become one, so  
don't ask. In this story Snape is comfortably heterosexual. I've  
decided to change the rating to PG-13 due to frank discussion of  
anatomy, pregnancy and its symptoms and possible grossness and  
language.  
  
Surprise! It's an update, and it hasn't even been a month since  
the last one. I'm getting faster LOL. (Posted June 16, before 1  
am.)  
You can thank Logospilgrim for keeping me going. She is such an  
inspiration. (Go look at her site and photos!)  
Speaking of inspirations; Heartfelt thanks to all my great  
reviewers. I love every one of them.  
  
** Chapter 5: Untimely Revelations  
**  
The boom of the slammed door echoed like thunder down the empty  
halls of the dungeon as Severus stormed from his potion lab in a  
towering rage.  
His robes billowing like dark sails behind him.  
  
How. . .Dare. . . He!  
What arrogance!  
Without so much a word, to make such a decision, about MY life,  
without consulting me!  
No more. It's too much, I won't put up with it!  
  
As the echoes faded, Dumbledore re-opened the laboratory door  
and hurried after Snape.  
  
"Severus, my boy, please wait. We really must talk about this."  
  
Snape stopped under one of the numerous charmed torches lighting  
the gloomy hallway and whirled around at the Headmaster's words.  
His breathing was ragged and fast from his brief exertions and  
his fury. His face was hot with emotion, blood pounded in his  
ears and he felt a tight heaviness in his chest. He was  
disturbed that his vision blurred with unwanted tears that he  
could not control.  
  
His nausea threatened to return with a vengeance.  
  
Damn! Thrice damned! Damn this curse and damn Dumbledore as  
well!  
  
Snape mustered every ounce of the biting sarcasm he was famous  
for as he hissed low and dangerously through clenched teeth when  
Dumbledore caught up to him in the hallway. "Oh? Really,  
Headmaster? What is there left to discuss? I thought all the  
_important_ decisions were already made for me. Since you have  
made it quite clear that a substitute has already been found and  
I have been so arbitrarily relieved of all my duties here. . . I  
. . .am. . . . leaving." He emphasized the last three words  
with a growl.  
  
He chose to ignore the wetness on his face as streams of hot  
tears spilled down his cheeks. There was nothing he could do  
about them now.  
  
Albus stood motionless, mouth open, aghast at Severus' words.  
The unexpected tears that glistened on the Potions Master's  
proud face had startled him into speechlessness.  
  
Severus turned disdainfully to stride toward his rooms in the  
dungeons, just as the door to the Slytherin common room opened.  
Draco Malfoy, in a dressing gown and silk pajamas with a  
Slytherin-green eye patch over his blinded eye, curiously poked  
his head out to see who had caused all the noise.  
  
"Get back in there, now! This doesn't concern you." Snape  
growled sharply, even as he noted a sudden dizziness due to his  
quick movements. He began to gasp for air as if he'd been  
running a long distance. His hand rose to clutch at his robes  
over his chest and his steps wavered.  
  
"Yes sir, Professor." Draco looked surprised by Professor  
Snape's rebuke, as though his Head of House had never used that  
tone with him before. He started to retreat into the Slytherin  
Common Room, but hesitated, as he noticed the Professor seemed  
to be in some kind of distress.  
  
At that point, Minerva McGonagall charged down the stairs  
leading into the dungeons at the end of the hall, her wand drawn  
and at the ready in case of trouble.  
  
"What is going on down here? I heard the noise all the way up in  
the main hallway! Is Peeves causing a disturbance again?"  
  
Severus turned to answer her but could not catch his breath to  
speak. He was overcome with an intense cramp of nausea that  
doubled him over in pain and he vomited right in the middle of  
the hallway.  
  
As he was bent over, spots began to dance in his vision. He was  
choking and needed to breathe but could not as his stomach  
convulsed painfully yet again. His awareness of his surroundings  
faded as he concentrated on simply trying to breathe. There was  
a sharp pain just behind his breastbone as he tried to inhale  
and he choked. He suddenly staggered back a few steps until he  
ran into a wall, still doubled over with his arms wrapped around  
his chest. He gagged and choked loudly as he collapsed on the  
cold dungeon floor.  
  
As Snape staggered, Dumbledore cried out "_Severus_!" and tried to  
reach him, but it had all happened so unexpectedly and so fast  
that he had hardly recovered his wits before Severus fell.  
  
Dumbledore instantly kneeled beside him as Draco scrambled out  
of the Slytherin doorway. McGonagall hardly paused in her rush  
up the hallway to see what had happened. She cleared the foul  
puddle on the floor with an Evanesco charm as she passed.  
  
"What is the matter, Albus?"  
  
Before he had a chance to answer her, she turned to the pale-  
faced young man next to her. "Draco, run get Madam Pomfrey,  
_now_!"  
  
"I'll go call her by floo, it's quicker." He called over his  
shoulder as he ran back into the Slytherin portal.  
  
Severus couldn't breathe properly and his lungs burned, all he  
could manage was a repeated convulsive, choked cough. His throat  
burned as well and felt constricted. His eyes, wide and  
panicked, still streamed tears as he looked up at Dumbledore.  
  
He mouthed the words "Can't. . .breath!" just before he suddenly  
went limp and the coughing stopped.  
  
Dumbledore quickly searched for a pulse at the carotid artery  
near the point of his jaw and leaned down to listen for the  
slightest stir of breath.  
  
Thank Merlin! He heard a wheezing slow breath and another.  
Severus still breathed, but it sounded as if something gurgled  
in his throat and his pulse was fast but hard to feel as his  
face took on an ashen pallor  
  
Minerva hovered nearby, watching anxiously. "Albus, is Severus  
ill? He didn't look well at the ceremony earlier and he left  
rather abruptly, as if something was wrong. I followed shortly  
afterward to see if he was alright. I found him walking this  
way, toward his rooms. I inquired if he was feeling alright, but  
you know him, he wouldn't admit it to anyone if he were in  
pain."  
  
Albus didn't appear to have heard a single word she said.  
"Severus, my dear boy, I'm sorry. What have I done? What is  
wrong? I never meant to upset you. I didn't think. . . ."  
Dumbledore's whispered words trailed off as he gently sat  
Severus up and pulled him against his own chest to keep him off  
the cold stones of the floor as much as possible.  
  
Dumbledore began to gently rock back and forth cradling the limp  
form. Suddenly, tears began to flow from beneath his half-moon  
glasses and into his snowy white beard.  
  
As she waited for Madam Pomfrey to appear, Minerva hovered  
anxiously near Dumbledore in case she could help in any way.  
She could hear Snape's steady wheezing as he inhaled, so she  
knew he was still breathing. She was surprised as she noticed  
the way the flickering torch light glistened on his pale face.  
Severus' cheeks were wet with tears too.  
  
Surely Severus hasn't been. . . ._crying?  
_  
She couldn't catch much of what was said as Dumbledore whispered  
against Snape's shoulder between sobs. The Headmaster's sobs  
were intensifying as he rocked the limp form in his arms.  
"Please, Severus, don't leave . . . . sorry. . . . wanted to  
keep you safe. . . couldn't keep them safe . . .too many lost.  
. . couldn't protect . . . children. . . lost . . not..  
.mumble . . too . . .y-you. . mumble. . .little hope. .  
.mumble. . . precious child . . mumble. . s-sor-ry. . . .d-  
don't l-leave."  
  
His words faded into wracking sobs and Minerva became alarmed  
for Albus as well. In all the years she had known him, she had  
never seen him lose control of his emotions in this way before.  
He had always been so calm and totally in control of any  
situation.  
  
She had been aware that the Headmaster had been under a great  
deal of stress since the battle with Voldemort, and long before,  
but she had never suspected a sudden breakdown like this.  
Apparently, Snape's collapse had just been the final straw. She  
began to rub Albus' back in small soothing circles to try to  
calm him.  
  
Since the Last Battle, as the papers had called it, Albus  
Dumbledore had been acting odd, well odder than usual, for him.  
  
The Headmaster had thrown himself headlong into whatever project  
came up; from directing the care of all the battle victims in  
the hospital wing to repairing Hogwarts castle and grounds and  
strengthening the protective charms that kept the school safe  
for the students, all this plus his duties as Headmaster. He  
also seemed to be constantly attending one meeting or another  
with the Ministry when he wasn't in the library "Doing private  
research." he had told her. She had begun to wonder if he ever  
slept. Perhaps he had **not** been sleeping well, she now realized.  
  
She had also noted his strange change of behavior around Severus  
Snape, in particular, since the end of the war. She had seen  
Dumbledore watching Snape constantly but had attributed the  
behavior to the wild rumor currently circulating that the  
Potions Master had been hit with some kind of dark curse by  
Voldemort himself during the Last Battle. The curse that was  
thought to be eventually, and some said, gruesomely, fatal.  
  
She knew Dumbledore had a fatherly affection and concern for the  
dark, brooding Potions Master ever since his days as a student  
here at Hogwarts. She had attributed his somewhat possessive  
attention to his concern for the young wizard's health. Many of  
the staff and students had noticed that Professor Snape seemed  
quieter and more reclusive since the battle as well.  
  
Could the rumors be true then? Perhaps Snape was truly dying?  
She could see how that would upset Dumbledore. Few others knew  
how badly Severus Snape had suffered at the hands of both sides  
of the conflict as he worked in secret for the defeat of  
Voldemort. This fact had finally been recognized tonight at the  
award ceremony. Now, when peace had at last settled upon the  
wizarding world, it was terrible to think that there was the  
possibility that he may not live to reap the benefits he had  
undoubtedly earned. She found herself tearing up at the mere  
thought of such unfair irony.  
  
Oh, Merlin, where is Poppy? Surely she should be here by now?  
Though it had only been a little over a minute since Draco left  
to floo-call her, it seemed a much longer time. The Headmaster  
shouldn't be seen like this, it might cause a panic among the  
still nervous students. Unfortunately, he did not seem to be  
calming at all. If anything, his crying was getting louder.  
Something needed to be done before the noise attracted anyone  
else.  
  
Minerva did the only thing she could think of at the moment. She  
knelt beside him and pointed her wand at the back of  
Dumbledore's head and uttered "Dormio Profundus," to place  
Dumbledore in a deep sleep.  
  
She then levitated the suddenly slumbering wizard with a  
mobilicorpus charm while she supported Snape, who had not  
stirred, with her free arm to keep him from falling backward.  
When she had both of them carefully propped up beside each other  
against the wall, she took Dumbledore's hat and transformed it  
to a warm blanket and draped it over both of them. She then  
pulled a clean linen handkerchief from one of her robe pockets  
and gently dried the tears from the Headmaster's face.  
  
As she tucked away her handkerchief, Minerva heard the Slytherin  
dorm portal open behind her. She turned as Madam Pomfrey rushed  
out.  
Pomfrey ordered Draco and a few more of the Slytherin students  
to remain inside and out of her way. They tried to argue but she  
simply closed the door and commanded it to remain shut. There  
were thumps and rattles from the other side but it remained  
closed.  
  
"_Oh my stars_, Minerva! What happened to Dumbledore? I was only  
told that Severus was ill. "  
  
McGonagall assured her, "I just put him to sleep, Poppy. He's  
not hurt. I'll explain in a moment."  
  
Poppy quickly moved over to the two limp figures leaning against  
the wall. She trailed a levitating stretcher behind her laden  
with her healer's bag. She began diagnostic spells on Snape even  
before Minerva could answer her question.  
  
"Has anyone used magic on Severus? Can you tell me what  
happened? Mister Malfoy could only tell me that the Professor  
vomited and then appeared to be having trouble breathing before  
he fell." As she spoke, Poppy flipped aside the blanket and  
passed her wand over Severus' chest and abdomen, frowning.  
  
Minerva observed all this as she stood aside for Poppy to work.  
She found that to be a bit odd. _Why check his abdomen when he  
was clearly having trouble breathing?  
_  
"No Poppy, I'm afraid that was all I observed myself. I heard a  
loud noise from up in the main hall and came down here as  
quickly as I could to see what had caused it. The first thing I  
saw was the scene that Mister Malfoy has described to you. I  
immediately sent him to go get you. After he left, Albus became  
very distraught over Severus and began crying. He became almost  
hysterical. It just is not like him, Poppy. It frightened me a  
bit." Minerva shook her head solemnly.  
  
"Apparently, the two of them had some kind of disagreement  
before I arrived, I don't really know. Severus did look rather  
irritated, and, Poppy, I hardly believe this myself, it but it  
looked like he had been crying, there were tears on his face. I  
haven't seen Severus cry since he was a young student here and  
only rarely even then."  
  
Poppy, who looked a bit startled at Minerva's revelation, pursed  
her lips. "You may be right Minerva." She peered at Severus.  
His eyelashes were still wet and the drying trails of the tears  
were still visible. She had a good idea that the hormonal  
changes of his pregnancy were why he had probably begun crying,  
but something else had to have triggered it too.  
  
It became clear that Poppy was not going to elaborate on her  
statement after a moment, so Minerva continued. "I didn't think  
it would be a good idea to let the students see their Headmaster  
in such a state, so I put him to sleep with a Dormio Profundus  
charm. I did not touch Severus with any magic, but I did  
levitate Albus and transform his hat into the blanket."  
  
She paused for a moment then asked, "Poppy, is there some reason  
that Severus should avoid magic?"  
  
Poppy Pomfrey looked up to Minerva briefly and nodded. "You did  
the same thing for Albus that I probably would have done. He  
will sleep at least long enough for us to get him into the  
hospital wing."  
  
She paused, considering how much to tell Minerva about the  
curse, if anything.  
  
"Yes, Minerva, there is a very good reason for Severus to avoid  
magic, but I'm not at liberty to discuss it with you. It is  
Severus' secret to tell you if he wishes, but it is best for him  
to be cautious about certain forms of magic right now and it is  
the cause of my immediate concern. Severus has aspirated some  
vomitus into his lungs and his heartbeat is too fast. I'm not  
sure whether I should use the spell I need in order to clear his  
lungs, but I'm afraid that if I don't get his lungs cleared, he  
will be in greater danger. The longer I wait, the worse it will  
get. I'm going to have to risk it."  
  
Poppy stood and moved to Severus' side and gently tilted his  
head back against the wall. She raised her wand again to point  
it at Snape's chest. "Stand back, Minerva. This may be messy."  
At Poppy's hand motion, Minerva retreated to the other side of  
Dumbledore.  
  
"Respiratussio!" There was a single long wheeze as Severus'  
chest expanded as much as possible to pull a large amount of air  
deep into his lungs, then his mouth opened and matter and liquid  
spewed out propelled by a huge cough, spraying a large area of  
the hallway directly in front of him. It occurred three more  
times before nothing else was expelled. After that, the wheezing  
ceased and he settled into a normal pattern of breathing and his  
color seemed closer to normal.  
  
Poppy uttered "Evanesco," clearing the floor once more before  
she turned back to do her diagnostic spells over his chest and  
abdomen again, this time hovering a bit longer over his abdomen  
than she did before, Minerva noticed. She watched as Poppy  
frowned in concentration then pursed her lips slightly before  
she turned to move the stretcher closer in preparation of  
getting Severus moved onto it.  
  
"His lungs are clear now, thankfully, but I'm not sure why his  
heart is still beating so fast or why he hasn't roused yet and  
it worries me, so I want to take him to the hospital wing and  
keep him there for observation, at least for tonight. I'd rather  
not risk any more magic of any kind being used on him right now.  
Do you think you could possibly help me lift him onto the  
stretcher?"  
  
Between the two of them, Severus was soon on the stretcher with  
the healer's bag at his feet. Minerva was a little surprised how  
easy it was to move him. He was thinner and lighter than she had  
expected. The flowing black, voluminous robes he habitually wore  
made him appear much larger than he was.  
  
"Until I find out what happened, I want to keep an eye on both  
of them. From what you've described, Minerva, Albus may have  
suffered an emotional breakdown tonight. Even the strongest  
among us have a breaking point. At the very least, I may need to  
give him a sleeping potion to make sure he gets a good night's  
sleep." Minerva looked concerned but did not comment. She  
simply nodded in understanding.  
  
Poppy took the blanket and handed it to Minerva.  
"We'll need another stretcher, do you mind taking care of it  
while I check Albus, Minerva? We can take them both upstairs  
then."  
  
It didn't take long for Minerva to change the blanket into a  
second stretcher. As soon as it was done, Poppy was ready for  
Dumbledore to be levitated onto it. "He does show signs of  
fatigue and stress. That is all I can tell at the moment. He's  
been pushing himself _much_ too hard and not resting enough."  
  
Poppy remembered to release her command on the doorway to the  
Slytherins' dormitory before they set off to the hospital wing.  
The two stretchers with their quiet burdens levitated beside  
them up the stairs smoothly and silently.  
  
It was quiet in the hospital wing when they arrived. The  
majority of the victims of the battle had been released and sent  
home by now, so the ward was mostly empty, though even now, a  
month afterwards, there were still a few patients in need of a  
healer's care, George Weasley for one. Molly Weasley still split  
her time between her home and volunteer work in the hospital  
wing to be near her son until his back injuries had healed  
enough for him to go home. Even with magic and potions, back  
injuries took a lot of care and time to recover from. Nerves  
healed slowly, when they healed at all, and rushing them would  
only complicate matters.  
  
So it was that Molly Weasley was there to meet them at the door  
to the hospital wing to let Madam Pomfrey know that the private  
room was ready for them. She gasped in surprise when she saw the  
second stretcher carrying Albus Dumbledore floating in the air  
behind Professor McGonagall.  
  
"Goodness Poppy! What happened? Were they attacked?"  
  
Madam Pomfrey shook her head but didn't pause. She took them  
straight into the private room as quickly as possible. "Molly,  
bring another bed in here will you? I don't want to put  
Dumbledore in the ward."  
  
She drew her wand from her apron pocket and moved the single bed  
in the room to one side to accommodate another. She moved the  
stretcher bearing Severus over the bed, lifted her healer's bag  
onto the floor and gently tipped him onto the covers. The  
stretcher was then banished to the storeroom until needed. She  
took a few moments to take off his shoes, robe and frockcoat,  
mostly due to his numerous buttons. She draped the clothing over  
a chair, leaving him in his shirt and trousers. She made sure  
his wand was safely tucked away with his clothing too.  
  
As soon as Severus was settled comfortably in the bed, she  
started diagnostic charms again. "Cordissonos." She alone could  
hear his heartbeat and was relieved that it had slowed and it  
was a bit stronger than it had been before, down in the  
dungeons. He was beginning to recover from whatever had  
happened. She continued a more detailed examination silently  
while Minerva and Molly saw to the Headmaster. She wasn't  
entirely happy with what it revealed.  
  
Minerva McGonagall rested Dumbledore's stretcher on the floor  
while Mrs. Weasley quickly levitated one of the empty beds from  
the ward into the room and placed it in the space Poppy had  
cleared for it. Together they got the Headmaster settled onto  
the bed and the stretcher was returned to its original form as  
Dumbledore's hat. Molly put up a privacy screen between the beds  
before they removed Dumbledore's brightly-colored outer dress  
robes, his glasses and shoes then tucked him under the covers  
  
Satisfied that Severus was in no immediate danger, Poppy turned  
her attention to the sleeping Headmaster. "Minerva, would you  
get us some tea? I'm going to waken Dumbledore in a bit. It is  
likely he knows what triggered Severus' collapse tonight."  
  
"I'll be glad to Poppy, I could use a cup myself after all that  
has happened. I'll just use your fireplace to have the House-  
elves bring up a tray, shall I?"  
  
Molly quietly bustled around gathering the clothing and shoes to  
store them in the cabinet in the corner of the room. Minerva  
brought in a tea tray a moment later and set it on a table at  
the side of Severus' bed.  
  
When Madam Pomfrey used "Enervate" to waken him, Dumbledore  
suddenly sat up in the bed and asked the first thing on his  
mind. He spoke not knowing that there were other people in the  
room. "Where is Severus, is he alright? Is our baby alright?"  
Poppy tried to quiet him, but the damage was done. _"He's in  
here, Albus, hush, we aren't alone."_ She whispered, but it was  
too late.  
  
A teacup dropped to the floor and shattered just before Minerva  
McGonagall looked curiously around the privacy screen with a  
look of great confusion on her face. A moment later, Molly  
Weasley peeked around the screen as well.  
  
Albus Dumbledore could only stare back at them, horrified. What  
had he just done?

  
  
To be continued. . . soon.  
  
So. . .what do you think? Review, please?


End file.
